David Sedaris Can Fire Everyone (and So Can You)

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Humorist David Sedaris tried to be funny writing about firing, but he fell flat. He begins:

During this difficult time when so many Americas are looking for work, I’d like introduce an idea for something I’m calling the “citizen’s dismissal.”

It’s like a citizen’s arrest, but instead of detaining someone, you get to fire them!

Take this lifeguard at a WMCA I went to: I bought a guest pass so that I could swim laps, and ten minutes after I’d started, the young woman blew her whistle, calling, “You all have to leave now!”

“How come?” I asked.

“I have to go

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